I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
