you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
