In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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