rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
