I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I need a beard to bite.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
