put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
