already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
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Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
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My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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