just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
