All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Found the puke drawer
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
