You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
