My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
