Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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