If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
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