last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
