I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
