Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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