Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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