Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
