Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
