you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
