my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
