then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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