very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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