I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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