I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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