Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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