meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
