Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
