after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
