My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
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