I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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