You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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