I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize