honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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