Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
