Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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