i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
