I'll bet she douches with gravy.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??