I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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