I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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