Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
