Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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