cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
