I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
