well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
