apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
