I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize