you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
