East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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