Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
