Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
