well I can't set my house on fire every night
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
