Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
