mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
