You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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