just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
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