yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize