stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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