actually, I'm a sock model
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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