Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
whose ass print is on the piano?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
