Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
