Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
