I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
