watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
