I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
where are you?
Hypothermia
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
