I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
