Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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